I'M GETTING OLD....

Once again another year has come and gone. 30 more days and i'll be another year older. Did anyone fill out the age test? I did and it said my body was really 41, that's eight years older then what i really am. My kids are constantly reminding me that in a few more years they will be driving and just the other day my mother pointed out to me i could be a grandmother in another 6 more years. Hopefully not less then that. I hate it! I get really depressed about 30 days before my birthday every single year since i turned 30. I cried that day, what will i do when i reach 40? I sit and wonder what have i accomplished with all these years? Absolutely nothing. What have I learned in that time more then you can imagine. Does it help me from making mistakes? No, because i keep making them. Will it ever end? Who knows? Ok so I've reached the talking to myself and answering myself point. Whats next?

• You know you're getting old when you look at the celebrity birthdays and don't have a clue who they are.
• Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.
• A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
• Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
• You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
• Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
• The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
• As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.
• You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
• You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
• You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
• You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
• It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
• You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.
  you know your getting old when You're older than your dentist.
• It takes you two tries to get up from the couch.
• A telephone rings on the TV and you think it's yours.
• 90% of your dreams are reruns.
• You no longer say "No thanks" to the lobster bib.
• The only "Stones" you're interested in these days are Kidney and Gall.
• For the first time you have to deal with nose hair.
  when Corduroy is king.
• you know your getting old when Your computer has more memory than you do.
• when You bring lawn chairs to outdoor concerts.
• People warn you about shoveling snow.
• when You schedule sex.
• when You go from being a do-it-yourselfer to a hire-someone-elser.
• You don't have bad hair days, you have bad hair years.
• Finally, you can use words like "titillate," "shuttlecock" and "Uranus" without laughing.
• when You start appreciating larger fonts.

The census taker knocked on Miss Kimball's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" "Certainly." "Well, I'm the same age as they are." she snapped. "As old as the Hills," he wrote on his form.